Alay | 45 | Secretes

I am learning How to control myself This world seems it's all about her This possessive thinking needs a limit I need to calm down I'm sure I get a big share of her heart and mind As big as her portion inside mine But we need to do some things for ourselves by ourself too With hope and prayer for each other Oh how sweet our life is In good times and bad times We are still sweet We are a perfect couple I will fight for this relationship I will move forward, I will improve I am doing it Trying hard to not disappoint her Because I will be the one who will suffer bigger disappointment I want to please her I want her to feel truly happy with me Always happy I know my fear I fear myself That other side of myself That dark self That confused self She is already helping me a lot It's my decision to keep up or go down I want to keep up To keep improving day by day To become stronger To become smarter To become more reliable Because she is strong Much stronger than me She is heavenly

Went there with a group of 10 Surprise celebration of Nanda's birthday The hot spring is not as hot as the one we visited before We had fun anyway No trouble, no accident, no incident And all I think is her I wonder if I can proudly bring her there I wonder will it be enjoyable for her I wonder I believe Good things will happen on us No matter where we are No matter where we will be As long as we're together Aitai

We are just particles on earth I wonder If we will be remembered by someone The story of us Our struggle, our joy, our sorrow All I know is You and I are the particles which are attracted to each other

This sense of belonging is growing more and more and more Will we be able to contain it?  Should we move a little slower? Shall I rush? It takes some more time before we can gather A day feels like a week Is it a blessing? Is it a torture? It's about how we control our mind It's about how we suggest each other It's about how we suggest ourselves I feel like I can't wait But I will wait I will wait and wait While moving forward In hope that every movement will be the right move Towards you So one day we will meet In our best shape possible When we are ready We are blessed by each other Aitai

A partner is someone who  understands you or at least always trying to understand whatever the feeling is and is someone who you understand or at least you always try to understand whatever the feeling is is someone who want to care each other or at least always try to at least we try our best let the verdict tells what's best for us we will never have the ability to tell the future we have our present, now let's enjoy it now hoping our now will be our everyday your presence is a present for my present

Truly like a kind angel Soothing Cheering Is this heaven?

Wow, we called for five hours and we still have many things to talk about in our mind. She showed me her pictures from high school. I like it when she tells me her stories about anything. She is the one.

The way you enjoy my existence It is so beautiful Thank you for being exist for me She showed my picture to her parents yesterday. I felt honored, I think for good and respectful women to introduce her partner to her family means that she is serious at some level. Today it happens that I cannot decide (again) about when should I go back to Medan. She understands me. She loves me. While I'm hating myself. I love her more for that. She is just perfect.

I wish I wrote every moment that I made her laugh.  Those are precious moments I want to cherish.

.. in love is exciting and terrifying at the same moment. Here are the toughts that wander around my mind: - I love her and always want to be with her - I love her and want her to be always happy whether it's with me or not, I'm ready to let her go anytime as long as it's for the better for her - I can't let her go because I don't think I can find another partner as lovable as her I think I just make myself confused. Anyway, I don't know what the future holds but I'm so grateful that I've met such a lovely person.

First of all I'm thinking of writing in a more detailed description such as writing names and stuff. Not sure yet. Recently she has started doing her daily activities such as studying and working, while I haven't. I miss her but I know it's for the better, and she also tells me that she is also missing me, so it feels much better. I love that her words can easily convert my negative thoughts into positive. I love her more and more each day, there's no end to that. We are not perfect, but she is perfect for me.

If I spend my time waiting for you to write I think I can make a novel or movie script everyday That's how long it feels But I enjoy it The title would be Awaiting You I believe that is a cool title Please don't think that I feel sad or empty or anything negative when I'm waiting for you I've said this before and I will say it again I'm happy that I have you as someone to wait for

It's possible to learn anything, including this Japanese culture that I'm learning. It also helps a lot that I'm already familiar with some of it. NB: She's always beautiful, but tonight there's something more to that.

Kimi ga iru to donna koto demo Norikireru you na kimochi ni natteru Konna hibi ga itsumademo kitto Tsuzuiteku koto wo inotte iru yo ..... Donna kanashii koto mo Boku ga egao he to kaete ageru As long as we stay together I have a feeling that we'd be able to overcome any kind of hardship I sincerely pray that days like this will continue forever and ever ..... No matter what kind of sorrows I'll help you turn them into smiles

I'm starting to make writing as a routine again. Don't start with thinking about paragraph structure or grammar, just write.  Today I learned how to play piano on laptop. It took a while for me to look for and adjust and set up the software to my own liking. I tested a some freewares and finally chose Everyone Piano. It has all the feature that I need. And tonight I showed what I learned to her. She was impressed, and I was happy even tho I still think it's not enough. I want to give much better performance for my loved one. I still have a long way to learn.

Wish the days will get better, the pandemic will be over, and this lovely relationship will stay forever.