Alay | 45 | Secretes

I just suddenly realize my mistakes in my past relationships. After so long, I just realize what it is to be a lover. I just realize what it is to understand my partner. Well perhaps I and my past partners don't match anyway, based on difference in character and vision. It's all thanks to my current and hopefully forever lover who is very caring and kind and enthusiastic and patient to me. She makes me realize what it is to love each other. I hope she is my destined one. I like the way she treats me. I like the way she speaks. I like the way she expresses herself. She is just perfect. I hope she likes me as much as I like her. I'm always expecting her presence; her texts, her voice, her face with all the expressions. I'm still waiting for her first touch tho. Yes, she is the one who is worthy my most precious thing in my life, which is time. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I think, the basic, the purest form of loving a partner is like how we felt in love

Today the lecturer that has been so kind to me is sick. I'm attending him because his family is living in another city because of work. Hope he'll recover soon because he is also one of the rare people who is very good at table tennis in my campus.

I'm very sorry for asking you often about why do you love me or why I love you, about what do you see in me that makes you feel happy and comfortable. Please don't misunderstand because those questions don't mean that I'm not believing in your love. It's just I'm having problem within myself, that I'm finding it hard whether I can live with you or not. I'm having this self-confidence crisis. I'm so happy having a relationship with you, I'm so happy that I can see your smile every night, I want to live with you so bad it makes me crazy. You are so beautiful, so kind to me, so caring. You are simply very special. Living in this country really horrifies me. You know how honest and clean I am, and that kind of personality doesn't really fit if I want to make a lot of money in such a short time. I have to ignore some good parts in me if I want to gather a lot of money here. Just thinking of that already scares me. But thinking of not being able to

I hope she can understand my problematic way of thinking until the time that I can figure it out clearly. I truly madly deeply love her and I don't want to ever lose her.