Alay | 45 | Secretes

I'm used to check my phone whenever there's a chance, hoping that there's a message from her. Today I do it and it breaks my heart realizing that I won't get any text from her. I miss her presence.

 Choose your poison.

I don't know. I'm used to having someone to share my feelings with. But as bittersweet as the last girlfriend was, a scary trust issue has grown inside me. Relationship is scary. Trusting people is scary. I've seen many couples last happily for their lifetime. But after living for so long and experienced many relationships, I think I'm not fated to have one. Goodbye, wishful future. I'm shutting down.

I tried my best to improve myself here and there for the bigger purpose. But now my biggest dream has shattered. Perhaps it's time to take a big step backwards and build a huge wall and just quietly live there on my own. I cannot trust anyone genuinely anymore.

 It does matter.

Gimana ini ya. Kalau dia dingin gini gw jadi resah. Masalahnya gw bukan tipe yang cuek, dan bukan pemain. Mau gak mau harus dibahas sih, apapun resikonya. Daripada kaku gini.