Gimana ini ya. Kalau dia dingin gini gw jadi resah. Masalahnya gw bukan tipe yang cuek, dan bukan pemain. Mau gak mau harus dibahas sih, apapun resikonya. Daripada kaku gini.
well, almost a year away from blogging and now i was really really wanted to write, then i got no private time to pour all of my thoughts from what my brain extracted to some texts full of expression. but seems like i won't feel hesitate anymore to say anything from now on. no more secrets, it's just, anyhow, secretes. lately i've been trying my luck to Pekanbaru (telling the story later) and then went back here to Padangsidimpuan. back to the same old job but new girlfriend (yay!). yay?! whoa.. wait a second. it's not that easy to be happy for me, as it takes lots of time and courage and.. yeah, patience; to make her believe that we share the same feeling. some people may say that that won't happen to me (and i almost agreed), but, yes, she also likes me (that's what she said).
For all those good memories. Those extremely good feelings. Those kind attentions. Goodbye. I am leaving most of things behind now. Facing my tough life. Alone. I won't complain or even share stories anymore. I'm strong enough to face it. Again, alone. I've decided this. People will keep sharing things with me when they need someone to listen to their problems. And I will keep myself to try my best to help them. As usual. I won't ask anything back except in extremely urgent moments. Well, actually I've been doing it all the time. And I will keep it like that.
Entah apa ini yang memasuki kamarku. Dia nampak seperti serangga biasa, namun sebagai orang berasumsi macam-macam. Apakah ini pertanda baik? Apakah ini pertanda buruk? Apakah ini malaikat pengantar rejeki? Pencatat amal? Pencabut nyawa? Ah aku tak peduli lagi. Citaku kini hanya hidup tenang, sehat dan selamat. Cukup sudah menjalani hiruk-pikuk kehidupan, cukup sudah menderita sakit, cukup sudah menghadapi bahaya. Aku lelah.
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