Alay | 45 | Secretes

Just as how unexpected the meeting with her was, I believe that the ones who truly deserve each other will meet at the right moment. I just have to live a good life and wait for the moment.

Never ever thought I'd get hurt this bad, I don't even know how to laugh freely anymore.  I miss having fun.

 and have a happy life. Let me be the one struggling, the one ignored, the one trapped in this hole.

Suka-suka klenlah. I believe that karma is real.

I'm changing my principles. My focus won't be for finding a partner now. I'm all for a lot of clean money. I shall ignore women, until the right one finds me.

Why can someone easily have a change of heart, when I can't? Why are there people who have happy and peaceful life without much struggle and sacrifice? When can I enjoy true happiness, when I'm already this old? Why am I always the one who ends up suffering in a relationship? Am I not kind enough? Is being kind wrong? Am I not improving much? Am I cursed? Will I become one of those who suffer tragic ending? I'm so tired.

I trying hard but still cannot see any light. My head and chest still hurt. I don't know where to go. I don't know whom to speak to. I don't know who or what can save me. It hurts so much. If this awful life prolongs, can I just die soon?