Break It Until It Becomes Nothing

As much as brokenhearted I was, today it becomes even worse, if not the worst I've ever felt. I almost lost my sanity, but gladly I am still able to keep it. 

Now that I'm absolutely broken, my mind becomes blurry. I am so lost inside. I don't know who or what to believe in, even myself.

What, where, when did I do wrong? Why is it always happening, when all I've been struggling for my whole life is not to have this pathetic life, but it still occurs. When will I have an everlasting truly happy mind?

Is this sad life story already written in a one way route somewhere? If so, then I'll try to make another route. I'm not sure, but I still have that thought that life is about choice. Even though after living so far I've seen countless unchangeable complicated life for a lot of people, I'm still holding dear to that belief. It's just, the spirit is becoming weaker and weaker. That spirit, no matter how weak it is, or how stupid it sounds, is what keeps me alive.

I fully envy those people with simple minds and simple life, for the better or worse. What will I become before death ends my story?

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