Alay | 45 | Secretes

so here i am again. the last post was far from over yet. there're still alot of things to say here. it's just when i write and thought about another stuff, it gets me immediately confused. so last time i (actually) decided to put a comma on that last paragraph. and here we go again. it won't end in this part as i think of a long story. whoever read my posts may actually think that i got some mental disorder. and yes, i have to admit that i am. i can feel it. it all starts when i thought that my life will end soon (-er than today). and that sucks. it's just a while for me when i'm the one who thinks that i got nothing to be proud of, nothing to share with anyone except this blog and some special friends who kept in supporting me (while being aware or not of my situation), and the majority already put a label on me as "a loser", even though they didn't forget to leave me some wisdom. hell that sucks. but that's what happens on earth when you can'...

well, almost a year away from blogging and now i was really really wanted to write, then i got no private time to pour all of my thoughts from what my brain extracted to some texts full of expression. but seems like i won't feel hesitate anymore to say anything from now on. no more secrets, it's just, anyhow, secretes. lately i've been trying my luck to Pekanbaru (telling the story later) and then went back here to Padangsidimpuan. back to the same old job but new girlfriend (yay!). yay?! whoa.. wait a second. it's not that easy to be happy for me, as it takes lots of time and courage and.. yeah, patience; to make her believe that we share the same feeling. some people may say that that won't happen to me (and i almost agreed), but, yes, she also likes me (that's what she said).

Let me begin with: Life, Love.

I caught a cold. And I caught a cold. (A post for reminding me of how cold I am (wishfully it'll change into "was"), body and soul)

aku tidak menyalahkan siapa-siapa tidak pula diriku sendiri tapi mengapa nasibku begini seperti kurang (kalau tidak bisa dibilang "tidak") beruntung ahhh... aku lelah.. lelah berpikir, lelah berbuat dunia(ku) seperti hampir tidak mau lagi bersahabat entah bagaimana dengan duniaNya

oh ternyata posting yang kemaren bukan yang terakhir.. masih ada sebuah kisah lagi yang harus gw tulis disini sebelum berangkat takut nanti di indonesia ga keingetan. sesuai rencana, kemaren sama hari ini gw jadi keliling pamitan. gimana rasanya ya.. gara-gara pamitan gw malah jadi agak kerasan disini. tapi karena orang indonesianya, bukan orang mesirnya! gw seneng ama cara bergaul orang indonesia disini.. ramah! kemaren gw berdua ama Yakub sebenernya ke Dokki mo nyamperin 2 rumah, rumahnya Oni ama Bang Mahdi. tapi karena di rumah Oni dibel ga ada yang buka akhirnya Yakub pulang dan gw sendirian ke rumah Bang Mahdi. gw ngobrol-ngobrol, trus makan. abis makan sambil iseng Bang Mahdi minta gw nginjekin dia.. "sori li ya dikerjain nih.. namanya juga kenang-kenangan terakhir diinjekin sama ali" katanya hehehe.. jadi gw nginjekin sambil ngelanjutin ngobrol. mungkin keenakan diinjekin ya akhirnya Bang Mahdi ngantuk, trus tidur deh. gw yang emang ga rencana nginep malem itu setelah ...

i'll tell the truth. tiket udah di tangan. urusan visa udah kelar. misi gw sebelum pulang tinggal pamitan, beli oleh-oleh, sama ngumpulin barang sama koleksi gw. i can't believe it. pernah ga lo membeli sebuah barang yang dalam sekejap langsung berubah fungsi menjadi tidak berharga sama sekali? kemaren pas gw urusan di imigrasi, visa gw kan udah telat 2,5 taun (akibat lamamnya menunggu ongkos pulang). maka gw kena denda 300 pound (150 per tahun atau kurang), tapi pas bayar entah kenapa gw dapet kembalian 50 pound.. jadi 250. nah setelah itu bagian yang anehnya terjadi. gw disuruh ama petugas untuk beli materai sebanyak 143 pound! gila langsung bengong gw! orang biasanya cuma bayar materai 13 pound untuk satu formulir.. sedangkan gw 143!! sebenarnya gw maklum. cuma yang bikin gw bengong itu kenapa di mesir ini ga pernah ada surat edaran yang berisi ketentuan/peraturan tertulis yang jelas? inilah salah satu anehnya birokrasi di mesir. at last gw bener-bener jadi pulang. gw udah m...